Right now, do this
You do not owe anyone a full explanation
You made a decision about your own child's education. You do not owe the head teacher, the class teacher, the teaching assistant, the parent committee, the school WhatsApp group or the parent at the gate a justification, an apology or a plan. Your deregistration letter was the only thing you legally had to send. Everything else is a courtesy, and courtesies are short.
This matters because the longer you spend drafting explanations, the more you invite follow-up conversations you did not ask for. A four-paragraph email asking for understanding reads as an opening move; a one-line note reads as a decision already made. "Decision already made" is the voice to use everywhere on this page.
What do you actually say to the head teacher?
Nothing beyond the deregistration letter itself. The letter is the communication. If the head teacher replies and asks for a meeting, you can politely decline in one line: "Thank you, I would rather handle this in writing." You do not have to explain why, and most head teachers, once they realise the decision is made, move on.
If the head teacher was part of the reason you left (a relationship with a particular pupil, a SEND review that went badly, a safeguarding concern you raised that was mishandled), you are under no obligation to give feedback at this point. If you want to, you can, later, in writing. Your priority for the next fortnight is your child, not the school's improvement plan.
What do you say to the class teacher?
Three sentences is enough. Something like this:
Hi [NAME], a quick note to let you know that [CHILD'S NAME] will be leaving [SCHOOL] on [DATE] to be home educated. Thank you for the care you have taken of her this year; it has meant a lot. We will miss you.
That is the whole note. It acknowledges the relationship, closes the door and costs you nothing. If the relationship mattered, send it by email so the teacher has it in writing and can reply if they want to.
If the relationship was difficult (and sometimes it was, and that is part of why you are here), no note is fine. You are not obliged to manage the teacher's feelings about your decision. A clean exit is entirely lawful and entirely reasonable.
What about saying goodbye to the class?
Usually lovely, sometimes not. Judge the room. Ask your child first. Ask the class teacher second.
If your child wants to, if the class teacher is on board and if the school is happy to arrange a quiet last-day moment (a short visit at the end of the day, a card from the class, a circle-time goodbye), it can be a kind closing. Children who have had a positive school experience often need this, and its absence can haunt a first week of home education more than you might expect.
If any of those three conditions is not met, skip it. A goodbye that is awkward, rushed or unwelcome is worse than no goodbye. Your child will remember the last day of their schooling for a long time and you are allowed to curate that memory.
What do you tell the other parents?
As much or as little as you want. The phrase "we are moving to home education from [DATE]" is a complete explanation and it is reasonable to stop there. If someone is kind and you feel like saying more, go ahead. If someone is not kind, a polite "I would rather not get into it" closes the conversation without rudeness.
What to brace for is the one parent at the gate who has strong feelings about home education, either pro or con. If they are pro, they will want to mentor you; if they are con, they will want to debate you. You do not have to be anybody's convert and you do not have to win anybody's argument. "Thank you, I am not looking for advice this week" is a complete sentence.
What should you ask for on the way out?
A copy of the school records. You are entitled to one for free under the UK General Data Protection Regulation (UK GDPR) right of access. The records will usually include your child's attendance history, any assessments, any SEND documentation, any behaviour notes, any safeguarding-related entries that are directly about your child and sometimes samples of work.
The reason to ask now rather than later is that the records often take a few weeks to arrive (the school has up to one calendar month to reply) and they are useful to the LA when you reply to the first elective home education (EHE) enquiry. You can quote dates, mention specific progress points and attach a reading-age figure if the records contain one. None of this is required, but it is sometimes quicker than reconstructing information from memory.
A simple email to the school office with the words "please provide a copy of my child's educational record under the right of access in UK GDPR" is all the request needs.
A real family's "what to tell the school" week
A mum we will call Rachel deregistered her Year 2 son on a Monday. On Tuesday she sent the class teacher a three-sentence thank-you note and a standing request for the records. On Wednesday her son wanted to go in one more time to say goodbye to his two closest friends; the class teacher arranged a ten-minute coffee at the end of the school day and it was, in Rachel's words, "the nicest part of the whole week."
On Thursday, Rachel sent a one-line reply to the parent-group WhatsApp saying she was moving her son to home education and thanking everyone for the playdates; four parents replied warmly and two went quiet. She did not chase the quiet ones. Two of the warm ones still meet them monthly a year later. The school records arrived by post three weeks after the initial request and sat, unread, in the "home education" folder until the LA's first letter.
Frequently asked.
- Do I have to tell the school why I am deregistering?
- No. There is no duty to give a reason. A single sentence ('we are moving to home education from DATE') is all the school needs to remove your child from the roll.
- Should I say goodbye to the class?
- Usually lovely, sometimes not. If the class teacher is kind and your child would like to, do it. If the school handled the lead-up badly or your child would rather a clean break, skip it.
- How do I ask for my child's school records?
- Email the school office: 'Please provide a copy of my child's educational record under the right of access in UK GDPR. [Child's full name, DOB, year group.]' They have up to one calendar month to reply and the records are free.
- What do I tell other parents at the gate?
- As much or as little as you want. 'We are moving to home education' is enough. You owe the parents group no more than you owe the school.
- How do I handle playdates with my child's school friends?
- Carry on exactly as before. Keep the friendships that work, drop the ones that do not and let your child lead. You do not have to be the parent who arranges everything.